Welcome to another week of Dear Duolingo, an advice column just for learners. Catch up on past installments here.
Hi learners! It’s Dr. Emilie Zuniga again. Last month, on Dear Duolingo, I wrote about some of the hardest languages for English speakers to learn. But this week, I’m here to tell you about a very different topic, one that is close to my heart as a linguist and a mother living outside of my own speech community.
Our question this week:
Raising a child in a language that isn’t spoken in your community can feel like an uphill battle. Many parents worry that their child won’t pick up the language or that they’ll resist speaking it. But here’s the good news: While the journey won’t always be easy, there are concrete things you can do to support your child’s learning.
The key to success
With young children, the key isn’t just exposure:
When kids feel connected to a language, they’ll want to use it. So how do you create that bond? Here are some of the most effective ways.
1. Speak your language 🗣️
This might sound obvious, but the single most powerful thing you can do to help your child learn your language is consistently speak to them in that language. Your child was born wired for connection and learned very early on that language is one of the best tools humans have to connect with one another, so if one caregiver consistently uses a certain language, the child will naturally welcome it and absorb it as their own.
If some household members don’t speak your language, you might need to navigate how and when to use it. Some families adopt a “one person, one language” (OPOL) strategy, with each parent speaking a different language. Others set specific times or contexts for each language, like “Inside the house, we speak Portuguese” or “On the weekend, we speak Arabic.” While creating a perfect balance of exposure between languages is practically impossible, even some exposure can go a long way.
2. More people, more bonding ❤️
Since kids are so keen on connection, another good strategy for helping them love and adopt your language is to involve other people. If you have family or friends who speak your language, make them a part of your child’s life through in-person visits or regular video calls, voice messages, etc.
If you have a local community of speakers available to you, try to find other families with kids learning your language and arrange playdates or gatherings. It doesn’t have to be formal—just hearing other kids use the language can reinforce that it’s something normal and valuable. If no local community exists, online groups and virtual playdates can be a great alternative, especially as your child grows.
3. Create a home library in your language 📖
Books are an incredible tool for language exposure. If children’s books exist in your language, fill your home with them! Read to your child regularly, starting when they’re tiny babies (I started reading to my baby in my language before he was born!). Not only will you be exposing them to the sounds, melodies, words and structures of your language, you’ll also be associating it in their memory and in their hearts with comfort and closeness.
If it’s hard to find books in your language, get creative! Translate as you go, telling stories in your own words. Look for audiobooks, folktales, or even comic books that align with your child’s interests. And don’t forget storytelling—telling them about your own childhood in your language can be just as valuable as reading a book.
4. Use bedtime songs and nursery rhymes 🎤
Even if you do nothing else, sing to your child in your language. For many people, lullabies, nursery rhymes, and simple songs are an effortless way to introduce rhythm and sounds to your child. Plus they carry cultural significance—when your child hears these songs, they’re experiencing part of your heritage.
If you feel shy about using your singing voice because you think you’re a bad singer, remember that your small child doesn’t know that and doesn’t care. They will feel the love and connection all the same!
If you don’t remember very many songs in your language, no worries! Look for recordings online, ask relatives, or make up your own. Children love repetition, and even a single song repeated nightly can create a lasting emotional link to the language.
5. Share your culture 💑
Language isn’t just about words—it’s about culture, emotions, memories, and everything that makes us human! Another powerful way to connect your child to your language is to share experiences that are meaningful to you. Cooking a dish from your childhood, celebrating a holiday according to your family traditions, or even watching a cherished movie in your language can make a big impact.
For example, if you grew up eating dumplings for New Year’s or baking a special type of bread on Sundays, involve your child in the process! Talk to them in your language as you cook, tell them stories about how your family used to do it, and create a new tradition! These experiences create deep, positive associations with the language and help keep it alive in your kiddo’s heart.
Home is where your language is 💚
The key to teaching your child your language in a community where another language is spoken is not just exposure—it’s also connection. When your child sees your language as part of their love, family, and joy, they’ll want to hold on to it.
You don’t have to do it all. If all you do today is sing a song in your language or tell your child a story from your childhood, it is something! And over time, those small moments add up to something truly meaningful—a child who not only understands your language but feels at home in it.
For more answers to your language and learning questions, get in touch with us by emailing dearduolingo@duolingo.com.